00059: GYPSY WITH AUDRA MAcDONALD (BROADWAY)

January 12, 20255

As someone who teaches musical theatre and has dedicated his last 10 years of teaching to centering people of color within the theatre world, I have talked about George C. Wolfe and other African American theatre artist who have tried to break the Broadway mold. Going to see Gypsy was not about seeing the musical but the work of George C. Wolfe as director and the star of the show, Audra McDonald.

During the fall semester, I talked about Shuffle Along (among many other shows), which was done on Broadway in 1921, and how this musical was an influence to many other musicals of the time. I also talked about George C. Wolfe and his reimagining of the musical, giving it a new titled, Shuffle Along or the Making of the Musical Sensation of 1921 and all that Followed. And while I never saw the adaptation, I know a few things about it to understand that George C. Wolfe tried to make a statement in regards to African American entertainers and Broadway. And so, with this in mind, I took my seat at the Majestic Theatre to enjoy the greatness of Audra and Wolfe, but I was not ready for what was about to happen. 

To say that the production under George C. Wolf was spectacular is an understatement. To say that Audra was a marvel to watch on stage is diminishing her talent. Both the direction and acting were strong (as expected) and far more emotional and challenging (in a good way) than expected. I also anticipated the director to make settle but very important statements about race with the production. He didn't disappoint. 

The music, the lyrics, and the story are all great, most of us know that. After all, the majority of historians and theatre critics considered Gypsy the best musical ever written. They are not wrong, okay, we are not wrong. The sets, the lights, the costumes, and the makeup, were all, of course, on point. The acting, the singing, and the dancing, as well as the choreography were also all excellent. What I want to concentrate on, instead, is the directorial approach by Wolfe and the interpretation of Rose by McDonald.

To start, when Rose "collects" the different boys that will be part of June's act, all the boys are African American. I expected this because this is George C. Wolfe and he could make that happen. Also, Rose and her two daughters are African American so it made sense to have an ensemble of Black boys. But once the musical number that serves to show the passing of time comes around and the boys "grow up," they are all replaced by White teenagers. And while this switch may not have a significance to many in the audience, it does become a very important choice and statement from the director. It sets up the question: Why make such change? The answer, of course, comes later in the story. 

Second: When June and Louise find themselves waiting for her mother and George to discuss their new vaudeville contract with an influential producer, the two sisters sing the musical number "If Mama was Married." It is here in this number where we clearly see two sisters who, although love their mother, have started to develop a desire to be free from their mother's tight grip. But while Louise (played by Joy Woods) always sings the phrase "if mama was married," in a sweet tone, projecting a hope that she may or may not be able to reach, June sings the same phrase with anger, projecting a very strong resentment towards her mother.

Never before have I seen such interpretation of the song. People, including myself, laughed at some of the commentary the girls made about their mother, and we also start to feel sorry for the young women. With Jordan Tyson in the role of June, you also start to see how this song becomes the moment when June expresses the hate she feels toward her own mother. While both actresses have strong voices, sing with energy, and beautiful harmonies, their interpretation under Wolfe's direction, turns this song into a foreshadowing and a sad reality for the sisters, who, sooner or later will have to be strong enough to disengage from their mother, especially June who is now showing us a life that is horrifying to her rather than filled with joy. Her anger and resentment is real.

Later in the story, Rose finds out that June and one of the boys from the act have gotten married behind her back; they also have eloped. Rose, then decides that Louise will now lead their vaudevillian act but instead of creating a new act for Louise, Rose simply tries to make Louise like June, forceing her to wear June's blonde wig. But Louise isn't happy with Rose's choice so she tells her mother, "I don't want to be blonde; I want to use my own black hair." It is at this moment when we are able to connect the reason why Rose "switched" from having young black boys to white teens. We come to realized that Rose not only wanted June to be successful in show business, but understood that in oder to "make it," June needed to portray the "blonde beauty." This is a very poignant moment in the musical because without changing anything in the musical, in terms of its writing, Mr. Wolfe highlights the difficulty and struggles vaudeville black troupes experienced (and how today Black actors continue to experience) in show business. Rose's decision to replace her black boys for white teenagers is a "smart" career move, and a smart directorial decision to highlight the struggle of Black entertainers. 

Let's move now to Audra's performance. From the start, Audra commands attention, mainly because she is a powerhouse on stage. One cannot help but to cheer and clap the moment she enters. But also because the way she slowly injects little acting choices to Mama Rose. At first, she's just a regular stage mom, with demands about this and that. But soon, we start to see beyond the strong-will woman who wants her daughter June to succeed in show business. We start to see her obsession, her over-powering control over every single detail of those around her, including George (played incredibly strong by Danny Burstein), who slowly and surely figures out that Rose has only one objective: show business. 

As the story develops, Audra's Rose start to show signs of weakness and fear. "Everyone always leaves me," she tells us. And while we all may feel sorry for her, we quickly start to understand that it is her own doing that makes people leave. I was closed enough to see Audra's eyes twitch, her hands tremble, her mind drifting in thought whenever a situation became difficult. When June leaves, Rose only allows her a few seconds in her mind, and you almost see the pain in Audra's face, but, all of the sudden, she hides her pain by deciding to rebuild the vaudeville act with Louise at the front. 

Later, when the day comes for Rose to marry George, we all know is not going to happen because, in  previous scene, when George asked her to marry her, Rose's answer was "yes," but Audra's body language and facial expression was telling us otherwise-the twitching and hand-shaking was there again. The day of the wedding, we see Rose feeling uneasy, and it is Audra's defeated body language and mumbling lines that let us know that not only her show business dream has come to an end, but also that she does not want to marry the man that loves her. Yet there is no escape for she promised George to marry him when their vaudeville act contract ended. And by now, all the members of their vaudeville act have gone, so she must fulfill her promise. Yet, when she suddenly hears that the headliner for the burlesque act is nowhere to be found and that the show is in a bind, Audra's body suddenly perks up, and as if hit by a lightning bolt, Rose is full of energy and decision making, telling the burlesque director that her daughter Louise can fill the lead's spot. It is here where George comes to a realization and decides to leave Rose as she sacrifices her daughter Louise's freedom and happiness, over a burlesque act.

And so, Louise becomes the infamous Gypsy Rose Lee, and even with all her success, she isn't able to make her mother Rose entirely happy. We see a depressed woman now, and, at the same time, a woman who sacrificed everything for her daughters, and who also regrets not being under the spotlight herself. When Audra sing the gut-wrenching last song ("Rose's Turn") we are witnesses to a woman who slowly starts to deteriorate before our very own eyes. The repetition of the lyrics and the inability to sing some of them, suddenly become hunting, shocking, and horrifying as we see Rose loosing her composure, her mind, and her spirit. By the end of the song, we are devastated because Mrs. McDonald delivers one of the most powerful interpretations of the song ever done before. The Rose we met at the top of the show is no more. Yes, many actresses before Mrs. MacDonal have belted the song to stratosphere levels, Audra doesn't need to do that, all she needs to do is deliver a powerful interpretive performance, which she does as no one ever before. And that brought not only chills but tears to Louise, who is watching her mother from the sidelines, and also to the eyes of many audience members, including me. 

At the end of the song, the audience stood up on their feet, given Mrs. McDonald an almost five-minute ovation that was only stopped by Louise's first line in the last scene, and while in prior performances Louise has walked off stage, leaving her mother behind, or has walked off stage and has signaled Rose to join her, in this production, Louise gives her mother her expensive lush fur shoulder boa and a very strong heart-felt hug. Then, showing her compassion, offers Rose her hand, and slowly both, mother and daughter walk off into the sunset. And the tears continue. 

GYPSY BOWS

This musicals gets four very emotional snaps!

00058: THE OUTSIDERS (Broadway)

January 11,2025

This musical is based on the 1967 book written by S. E. Hinton and the 1983 film directed by Francis Ford Coppola. The musical's book is  by Adam Rapp and Justin Levine and music and lyrics by Jonathan Clay & Zach Chance and Justine Levine.

The Outsiders tells the story of a group of teenagers who are called "The Greasers," and their story is told from the point of view of one of the group's members: Ponyboy Curtis. Ponyboy is writing about his own experiences as part of "the greasers," which eventually would become the book he's writing, titled, "The Outsiders."

Like the book, the musical is touching and emotional. And although the music genre isn't something I like (country), the lyrics are strong and heartfelt. The ensemble of actors (mostly male) do an incredible job at performing and singing. Their dancing, interpretive moment, and fight choreography are some of the highlights of the show. The three actors playing the Curtis Brothers worked together well and have a strong sense of emotional responsibility. And while they are brothers, each is very distinctive in their personalities, ways of thinking, and looks. 

Ponyboy is our leading man (teen actually.) He has a best friend, Johnny, and both look up to an older member of their gang, Dallas. Dallas has been to prison and knows the ways of life, and he makes an effort to show the younger ones how to survive. Of course, in this story, things do not go well for many of the young people, they either get killed or killed themselves, which makes "The Outsiders" a musical that has a tragic ending... and a hopeful one too. Mostly everyone knows the story of "The Outsiders," if you are one of the few that doesn't, it is time to pick up the book and read it or just watch the film. 

In terms of performances, every cast member in this ensemble piece performed with strength and professionalism. The emotional moments were there and the singing and dancing were top notch. And while all the characters have their great moments, songs, and personal stories, my favorite character and story became the one about the older Curtis Brothers, Darrell. Being the oldest, he felt a responsibility to take care of his younger siblings. The pressure to be a young man, a responsible person, and a father figured, really became a very frustrating burden to him. His song "Throwing in the Towel" was one of my favorites, along with "Great Expectations," which is a reflection on how people expect certain things from others or how we set up goals and have great expectations for ourselves but life gets in the way. Both songs truly resonated with me. 

Despite the tragic endings for some of the characters and the hopeful ending for others, the musical is a very strong theatrical piece that I can see being produced all over the country. It is about teenage life in rural America, like "Footlose" the musical, but with much better music and lyrics and with a much stronger and emotional story. And despite that sometimes musical delude the emotional core of a narrative, especially of a book, I feel that "The Outsiders" musical does a very good job at offering us strong characters and an emotional story while entertaining us through song and dance, and artistic achievement. 

This musical gets three musical snaps! 

00057: SUNSET BOULEVARD (BROADWAY)

January 13, 2025

Before I start my review on this Broadway revival, let me be very transparent about one thing: I DO NOT LIKE ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER'S MUSIC. I find it simplistic, repetitive (read boring), and from a whole musical theatre composition one or two song are good and the rest are just noise. And while I will never be able to compose a single musical group of two notes myself, I believe his musical theatre compositions are to theatre what pop music is to music in general: catering to the simplistic mind. You may agree or disagree with me. That isn't important.

Now that such thing is out of the way, allow me to talk about the Broadway production of SUNSET BLVD's revival. This production was excellent, not because of the music and/or lyrics, but because of its directorial concept and approach. 

The musical is based on the 1950's film of the same name, a film that was done in black and white and received an OSCAR for its art direction (being filmed in black and white.) The revival's director, Jamie Lloyd, took note of such achievement and follow on such steps by presenting the musical as a black and white cinematic concept. Such approach paid off. 

The actors wear black costumes with touches of white here and there, a white t-shirt, a white tank top, or white socks, or a hint of white in some of the costumes. The lighting is stark, harsh, and white, and coming from all directions, projecting giant shadow on the standing walls found in front of the proscenium arch. There is no set, just an empty stage where actors are free to move as slow as possible, or a fast as needed, and in configurations where the choreography at times is dance moves, at times is interpretive dancing, and at times is simply artistic movement. Add to that movie cameras manipulated by different chorus members, projecting the actors on stage and/or close ups of specific actors on a giant moveable screen that appears and disappears, and you have a musical that is being done not only onstage but also on the screen as a black and white movie. The result, a cinematic feast on a live stage. Pure art!

Mandy Gonzalez

The original actress playing Norma Desmond is Nicole Scherzinger, which according to reviews and word of mouth is fantastic in the role. I, however got to see Mandy Gonzalez and I couldn't be happier because as a Latinx Theatre artists, seeing another Latinx Theatre artist in such a role brings personal pride. I only mention this fact because in the show I saw, all the original cast, but one of the actor, performed on stage, and all of them did a wonderful job. 

This review is not about the music or the lyrics or the musical composition, trust me, it is not. There are a couple of songs that stand out ("Sunset Boulevard" and "As If We Never Said Goodbye"), but nothing else. does This review is about the directorial concept and the technical aspects of the show, which make the musical bearable to watch. Honestly, I was bored with the music but the lighting, the choreography, and the camera work kept me paying attention, even when I wanted to leave. 

As I said before, all the actors did a wonderful job in their roles as actors and singers. The chorus also played an incredible role in this production and they all did an excellent job. It is the music that doesn't really convince me. Several times I heard short snipes from other shows: CATS, Evita, Phantom. And like in the other musicals, in Sunset Blvd, only a couple of songs become a highlight. But the visual creation on stage and the camera work, brought the scenes to life and gave them new perspective. 

Before the Show

There is one particular scenes when two characters are confessing their love for each other, even though they are dating other people. During this scene we see one of the other people on stage (Norma), in the background, hovering like a menacing shadow (and it does makes sense), while the other character being talked about is seen on the screen, crying, and as audience members we understand what is going on and how their heart is being or will be broken when learning that the women he loves is actually in love with someone else. This is an emotional moment that stays with us for a while. It is, because like in a film, the camera help us focus our attention on who is being affected by the scene being performed. It is scenes like this that makes this on stage musical, feel like a film. And for this reason, along with all the excellent technical work and directorial choices that Sunset Blvd is a good piece of theatre, as long as you are able to put up with the musical mediocrity of its composer. 

This Broadway revival gets two artistic snaps. 

00055: THE SIGNS OF BURNED OUT ARE SHOWING!!!

I have been directing for many years, more than I care to admit. In my long years as a theatre director, I have learned many things, mainly that I don't know everything. Throughout my directing tenure I have made mistakes from which I have learned some important lessons. Regardless of the benefits, the majority of those mistakes have been forgotten; they're gone with the wind. Others, however, still lurk in the back of my mind just to remind me that, although I may be a theatre director, I am not that good of a theater director. In short, the many mistakes I have made in my directing career have kept me in check. 

One of the biggest mistakes I made long ago, was allowing the artistic director of a certain company to influence my casting decision. I had the perfect actor for a specific role. And being that such role was very important within the show, I knew this particular actor was the perfect match for the role. This actor had the commanding voice the character required. They also had the singing chops the role demanded. (I was directing a musical.) They had the acting chops, the attitude, and a very clear understanding of the character. Yet, when it came to casting the show, I allowed the artistic director to dictate who the actor for that specific role should be. I knew it was the wrong choice, so I fought back, but after some going back and forth, I gave in and cast the person they wanted.

Through the rehearsal process, I quickly realized what an incredible mistake I had made by casting such an actor. I went back to the artistic director and voiced my worried about the casting choice. I was told I was exaggerating and that the actor was fine; "They just needed practice." A few days later, I unintentionally learned that the actor I had cast had provided a hefty donation and had also promised free advertising for the theater's season. You cannot imagine the anger and the disappointment I felt toward myself at that moment, as well as the guilt I felt for the rest of the cast. 

Through the rehearsal process I tried my best to ignore anger, doubts, and struggles; I honestly made an effort to work around the actor's inefficiencies. Behind the scenes, the cast worried about the actor's inability to perform its best and, behind closed doors, they continually questioned the reason(s) why I had cast such an actor. The night the show opened, the actor froze in the middle of his most important song. The orchestra kept on playing, revamping over and over, and over, but nothing. The actor just stood on stage, looking out the audience, terrified. Other actors tried to help him by "humming" the lyrics and some even started singing some of the lines. But no one knew what to do because no one ever expected the actor to completely freeze on stage the way they did. And as I witness such event from the audience, my heart sunk along with my body. By the time the actor came back from whatever stage fright trip they had taken, the damage had been done.

After the show, the company hold a reception for patrons, theater donors, special guests, the cast, and crew. The infamous actor didn't show. And I wish I could have done the same but, as a director, I was expected to mingle with the crowd. I tell you, I never felt so uneasy in my life, and if I'm a master at faking smiles and "good times," this was the biggest test and I passed with flying colors. The next day, when the theatre review appeared in the main city's paper (yes, those existed back then), all my greatest fears were confirmed. All the actors were praised for their work and efforts, except one, of course. But the majority of the review concentrated on the directing, stating that I, as a director, did not had a clear understanding of the material because of some of my casting choices. The theatre reviewer went on to say that I perhaps I was not the right person to direct that particular musical or any musical for that matter. That comment hurt me the most for just a few months before, a very successful run of a much bigger musical had ended, and I had been praised for my directing vision and my unique approach to the material. It hadn't been in that particular city with that particular company, but still.  

I tell this story for two reasons: the first one is obvious, such experienced scared me for life and even now, after so many years, it still hunts me. The second, which is something I had never spoken about, is the fact that my biggest theatre mentor, my first acting and directing teacher, my guide, told me how disappointed they were because of show's results. I tried to explain myself and I even said, "Look, you know I got this gig because of my work on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Raincoat, which I directed and choreographed, by the way." It wan't my fault. I was forced to cast that actor. My mentor got very upset and even told me to stop making up excuses and accept my errors or I would never become a better person or director.

Our talk turned into an argument and I remember seeing my theater idol angrily walking away and leaving me standing in the middle of the room. After that exchange, I felt very disappointed in myself and also very hurt. I thought that if there was at least one person that could actually understand what had happened with that particular production, that person would be my mentor. Unfortunately I had created faulty expectations. As a result, I built a lot of resentment toward my mentor. In fact, after that encountered, we would never speak to each other again and I would never seek their mentorship. My mentor had been a pillar and theatre pioneer for the city and community, so when he passed, I only attended the funeral services, out of respect for said theater community. I was physically present but like Morales from A Chorus Line, I felt nothing. 

Today, I'm directing a play that could have been done with 12 actors. Instead, because I wanted to give opportunities to everyone and also "contribute to the building of our theatre program," I double the casting number. We have only been in rehearsal for a month and I'm already regretting my casting choice. Too many absences, too many unprepared actors, too many... well, no matter the reason(s), It's not their fault. I made the decision to cast them and I'm responsible to make sure they all understand the importance of punctuality and the responsibility of being part of a theatre production. 

I know that at the end, everything is going to turn out fine. The actors will know their lines and they will have their moment under the spotlight. The show will open and close and there will be something to celebrate by the end of the semester. Yet, the incidents happening right now, with students arriving late or calling in sick, is bothersome, and obviously is bringing up emotions and unresolved issues from the past. The skeletons in my closet are showing. 

There are sudden instances where I think I made the mistake of casting against my gut, and all because "I want to give students opportunities and help our theatre department grow". Or maybe my mistake is that I'm too soft nowadays and don't rule with an iron fist as I used to. Or maybe I'm just too old now to deal with the younger generations and their woke approaches to everything. Or maybe I have reached my limit, I'm burned out, tired, old, and directing shows with big cast numbers is no longer something I should be doing. Or maybe the time has come to retire. Yes, that's it! The time has come to retire. Wouldn't it be lovely? Unfortunately I'm too poor to stop working and not old enough to call it quits. I just have to take this project one day at a time, breathing every time I get a notice saying that so and so won't be there because of "this and that," and breathing once again because an actor doesn't have a pencil to take down blocking or they decided to go to the greenroom the moment they stepped out of their scene. Whatever the news, I just have to take big breaths and keep on going. 

Breathe, Carlos-Manuel. Breathe. 

00054: WHY WOULD I MISPRONOUNCE MY OWN NAME?

Let's start with the obvious. Irma Herrera is not an actor, and I don't mean this in a negative way. She's a "writer, solo performer, social justice activista, lawyer, and world traveler." That's how she introduces and identifies herself on her website, irmaherreradotcom. But more than a "solo performer," I would say Irma is a storyteller and she proves that in her one-woman show: "Why Would I Mispronounce my Own Name?" presented at Central Stage in Richmond CA.

The original production was directed by Rebecca Fisher and while I don't know the exact date of the show's original opening, information from Irma's website makes me believe the show first happened around the year 2021. The production I saw last September 2024 still credits Rebecca Fisher as the director. 

The show tells the story of Irma herself, who talks about the fact that her name is pronounce IRMa or, in my better phonetic English assimilation: ear-ma but never ur-ma or ERma. Not only does Irma talks about the importance of standing up to people who mispronounce your name but also about the courage it takes to stand up and correct them when mispronouncing it. I connected with this bit of the show, mainly because my name is Carlos-Manuel and back in high school some teachers called me Karlos-Manual... and I never corrected them.

In her show, Irma also addressed the issue of colorism within our own community and how her mother always told her she was "como una mosca en la leche-like a fly in the milk," referring to the fact that her skin was darker when compared to other family members. This section of the show made me laugh because, when I was young, while we never say anything related to flies and milk, we always use the word "prieto" when trying to remind someone that they were not as "white as they should be" or worse, as "white as we were." For the record, we are brown people, darker than our European American neighbors. We have never, ever been white. 

Irma's show does not just revolved on her personal experiences growing up but also addresses national issues such as politics and the danger of using and/or making fun of names which are different than those used by European Americans. She also highlights the irony about being a person of color and serving in the military but then, when done from your military duties, being ignored, mistreated, and worse, killed in the country you defended. The irony is, if it escapes you, fighting and surviving a war only to comeback to the country you were born and then be shot by racist people, who demand you go "back to your country" because of the color of your skin. Sad but very much a reality in the "greatest country of the world."

As a storyteller, Irma carries herself with ease, and her soft voice forces the audience to closely pay attention to her words and narrative. And while her show is already written, it is easy to note, at least to me, where new information was inserted in order to keep some of the discussed subjects as current as possible, which works fine because the one-hour show is full of insight, educational tidbits, jokes, personal moments, connections with the audience, and a few surprises that make "Why Would I Mispronounce my Own Name?" a must see theatrical experience. 

00052: MEXODUS

A few days ago I attended the production of MEXODUS, a new hip-hop play by Brian Quijada. This new production took place at Berkeley Rep in Berkeley, CA.  

I was excited to see this production for two reasons, three really. 1: "Mexodus" is a Latinx play and Berkeley Rep hadn't produced one of them in a while. 2: "Exodus" is a hip-hop play and I love hip-hop, and when mix with theatre, I'm in heaven. 3: "Mexodus's" subject matter is a topic I had never heard of and was incredibly interested in learning about it. 

Since this is a new play and Berkeley Rep loves sharing information about their new works by putting displays in their theater's lobby, I arrived about 45 minutes before curtain time so I could have time to read all the dramaturgical information. 

As expected, the lobby display valuable information about the Mexican border, the Treaty of Guadalupe, and how Texas wanted to be an independent state even before the United States was the United States. The main display included data related to the play's topic: The Underground Railroad between Texas and Coahuila, Mexico's border state, that aided many slaved blacks found freedom. After reading the lobby displays and finding my seat in the theater, I was ready to let myself be engulfed in "Mexudos." 

The play only has two characters: Carlos and Henry, played by Brian Quijada (also the playwright) and Nigel D. Robinson respectively. The show (directed by David Mendizábal) starts with both actors coming on stage and introducing themselves first and then letting the audience know that they will be creating all the music and beats live in front of us. Soon, we are transported to cacophony of sounds coming from all types of objects found on stage. These sounds are looped through a mixer found on a Dj's table. 

Within the first two songs there is no doubt that both actors are incredibly talented. They make music, creating beats, deejaying, and rapping and entertaining the audience. After four songs, a pattern has been stablished. There is a little bit of information on "this and that" and then a hip hop song. More information about "this and that" and then another hip hop song. And after the fourth song it felt predictable and I was looking at my watch. 

After the fourth song things change though. The story about Henry, a black slave, starts to take shape as we follow Henry's struggles and journey to freedom. But here is where the problem lies with this play. While I believe Quijada's play carries a very strong message and one that is very necessary to impart, ironically, the message, and ultimately Henry's story is placed in the back burner due to the fact that much emphasis and focus and given to the creation of beats, rapping, deejaying, and music mixes. Instead of feeling as if I was watching a hip hop play, I felt I was attending a hip hop concert where a loosely story was being sporadically being told to sort of give way to more hip hop moments. By the time Henry finds the tunnel that will take him to the underground railroad and ultimately lead him to his freedom, I was disengaged from the story. I was not emotionally involved. The end was so anticlimactic that, but the time I was standing on the street right after exiting the theater, my thoughts and my theatrical experience with "Mexodus" was gone. 

I am not saying the production wasn't good. It was. And both actors are far more talented than I would ever be. But as a play, the script lacks focus and it is in the need of a good dramaturge, of someone who can help Mr. Quijada, as a playwright, find the spine of the play so his story can be central within the hip hop world he has created. 

The hip hop numbers need to thrust the story forward and help create the development of the main character, this is something that doesn't really happen. There are nice moments here and there, like when the actor Nigel, shares a personal anecdote about his birth and how as a black man, coming from generations of black people, and slavery, he now stands on a professional stage, but overall the story and the character's journey take a backseat. 

And because the actors break the fourth wall from the start, there were times when I wasn't sure whether it was the actor or the character communicating with us. A moment that comes to mind is when Mr. Quijada, as Carlos, enters from the audience and starts a fire. The fire effect is created with a small orange light and the crackling fire sound is created by Mr. Quijada's snapping fingers, which are recorded and loop by the actor Nygel who is standing behind the DJ table. All was good until Mr. Quijada look up to the audience and gesture to the fact that he had made the sound of crackling fire. Some of the audience members laughed, others clapped. It was a "tongue in cheek" moment that was confusing because we are forced to ask ourselves who is breaking the fourth wall, the actor or the character. If it's the actor, why would he do that? To let us know how clever he is as a sound maker? If it's the character, why would he do that? So far, Henry's story has been kept completely behind the fourth wall. Perhaps this is not a playwriting thing but a directorial thing. Either way, moments like this keep the audience from engaging with Henry's story, which by now, has taken a backseat anyway.

As I said earlier, the message and the story that Brian Quijada presents in "Mexodus" is much needed and necessary. But in order to truly have an effect and in order to truly makes us understand how far we have come and how "we gon be alright" as Kendrick Lamar's lyrics blast through the speakers, there needs to be a flip in the focus of the play, where the story must be completely integrated into the hip hop numbers rather than the hip hop numbers becoming the central focus of the production. Otherwise "Mexodus' is not a play about the "Southbound Pathway to Freedom," but an opportunity for two very talented actors to showcase their artistic theatrical gifts. 

00049: MJ MUSICAL

MJ: The Musical

I must start by saying I do not like jukebox musicals very much. I have many reasons why I don't like them, but mainly because they seem to be created with little originality, following a simple, uncomplicated, and very predictable structure and storyline. You may disagree with me but that conversation is for another time.

Because of my dislike with jukebox musicals, I was not expecting MJ: The Musical at the Orpheum Theatre in San Francisco, to be much of a show. It is a jukebox musical after all, and my experiences with such shows have been disappointing. The same can be said about musicals based on films, which is a topic I will address in a different blog entry. 

And so, I arrived to the show with conflicting feelings. I didn't expect much of this jukebox musical but deep down I wanted the show to be good because Michael Jackson became my favorite music artist after he came out with "Off the Wall," the only music album by Michael that has been inducted in the Grammy Hall of Fame. And while I don't wear Michael Jackson T-shirts or the white glove, or anything remotely related to Michael Jackson, like many audience members did when I attended the show, I do consider myself a fan. He is the King of Pop after all.

The Orpheum Theater, SF CA

I first have to say how much I enjoyed the beginning of the show, which was "a rehearsal," where a band and dancers were warming up while waiting for Michael to arrive. And when he arrived, he only had a couple of words to say and off they all went into rehearsing a musical number. And from that moment on, I was hooked. And while I knew a lot about Michael's life, musical challenges, and career obstacles and tribulations, it was how the musical was structured and how the plot was set that made this jukebox musical very different from the others I have watched. All thanks to playwright extraordinaire, Lynn Nottage. Yes, there was a plot element that aided in transporting us to Michael's past as a child and slowly moving forward to "the present." But again, its very tight structure and its smart sequence of events within the show made MJ: The Musical a delight and entertaining theatre piece.

One of the many reasons I don't really like jukebox musicals is because, since the majority of songs in such musicals are well-known pop songs or well-known songs by the artists the musical is about, most of the time audience members start to whistle, holler, clap, and/or cheer when they hear their favorite song. At times, audience members get up from their seats and start to dance and even worse, sing, as if they were at a concert. This type of behavior, whether justified or not, is one of the many reasons I dislike jukebox musicals. So throughout the show, while enjoying MJ: The Musical, I was always nervous that some fan would start "joining the fun." And there were a couple of times when that almost happened, but the way the show is written and the way the songs are arranged for the musical, made it difficult for unwanted audience participation to occur. In fact, there was a moment when people started clapping to the beat with a certain song (I think it was Man in the Mirror.) But a few seconds after that, the audience had to stopped because the music rhythms changed and the vocals were done not just by "Michael Jackson" but also by other characters on stage. When that happened, I smiled and I think I even uttered (very softly) the word "yes" in a moment of triumph. 

The merch was selling out! The stage was awesome!

Besides having a very good structure and plot, the acting, the choreography (by Christopher Wheeldon), and the dancing in this musical were amazing. There were times when I thought I was watching a traditional musical with traditional musical numbers with a twist. So as a jukebox musical, the show is so different and so unexpected that it surprises you. At least, it surprised me. 

The show is also very artistic. Even though we are following Michael's life as an artist while putting together his "Dangerous Tour," the show gives the audience the opportunity to understand where Michael's dancing inspiration came from. The transition from the opening number in act two into "Smooth Criminal" becomes a dance history lesson, a homage to great American dancers, such as Fred Astaire, Bob Fosse, and The Nicholas Brothers, artists who made an appearance in the musical, and artists who influenced Michael Jackson's moves, such as the pelvis thrust and the infamous moonwalk. And believe me, the transition from one number to the next is as smooth as the title of the song itself. 

The choreography is top notch; the musical arrangements are unexpected, the dancing is superb, the acting and "off the wall,” and the singing, oh, the singing is just glorious. Everyone in the cast has its moment to shine and everyone in the cast who ended up playing more than one character is magnificent. But of course, the show would be nothing if there wasn't an actor who could embodied Michael Jackson's body and spirit, and the night I went, actor Roman Banks was that vessel, the conduct for Michael Jackson's spirit. Mr. Banks walked, spoke, sang, and dance like the late "King of Pop," making this musical a delight to watch.

At the end, because of the great writing by Ms. Nottage, because of the great Michael embodiment by Mr. Banks, because of the unique choreography by Mr. Wheeldon, and because of the great artistry by the ensemble and the technical team, MJ: The Musical was an unexpected jukebox musical I enjoyable and turned my night at the theatre, truly enjoyable.  

Minimisemos! Let's Get Minimal!

 

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Hace algunos meses mire el documental “Mi maestro el pulpo,” el cual tiene que ver con la relación entre un pulpo y un hombre que lo descubre mientras anda de snorkeling. Es un buen documental, lo recomiendo. 

 

El documental me llegó, (como decimos vulgarmente) ya que formuló preguntas acerca de la vida, acerca del significado de la vida, y acerca del propósito de la vida. Por lo menos así fue como me conecté con el filme. La verdad, me dio una buena sacudida por sus temas y me llevé como tres días para poder controlar mis emociones nuevamente. 

 

En parte fue por mi estado de ETA (del cual escribí antes bajo el título Melancolía) y en parte porque en los últimos cuatro meses, debido a la pandemia, he estado lidiando con la muerte de familiares, amigos, y conocidos. No soy el único lidiando con las consecuencias del COVID-19 así que no voy a hundirme en eso. Solo lo quiero mencionar porque en estos días cualquier cosa activa mis sensibilidad. En otras palabras, estoy emocionalmente desequilibrado. 

 

Desde el día que vi “Mi maestro el pulpo,” el algoritmo de Netflix me ha recomendado otros documentales, y he visto algunos, pero nada de que hablar… hasta que vi el documental titulado “Los Minimalistas: Menos es Ahora.”

 

Porque este documental es solo de 53 minutos y porque ya había escuchado de los minimalistas, decidí verlo. Y pues que golpe. El documental es acerca de “las cosas” que tenemos y del hacernos preguntas como: “¿Esto le añade valor a tu vida?” “¿Esto que tienes te hace feliz? “¿Cuándo fue la ultima vez que tomaste en tus manos este artículo porque lo necesitabas?” “¿Desde hace cuanto tiempo es que tienes esta cosa y no lo has usado o le has puesto atención?’

 

Cuando terminó el documental estaba una vez más conmovido. Pero de una manera buena porque lo que estaba sintiendo en ese momento eran las respuestas a las tantas preguntas e inseguridades que sentí cuando miré “Mi maestro el pulpo.”

 

Me di cuenta de que mi vida está llena de cosas, la mayoría solo tomando espacio y acumulando polvo, y que, para poder disfrutar de la vida mucho mejor, para tener una vida mas pacifica, tranquila, y mas motivadora, necesito deshacerme de todas las cosas innecesarias que he acumulado durante los años. 

 

Para poder llegar a eso, necesito aprender a dejar ir, de una manera física y emocional a lo que tengo. Tengo que aprender a apreciar los recuerdos y las experiencias que he vivido desde dentro de mi y no con cosas.

 

No es un proceso fácil, pero uno que he decidido tomar. ¿Será fácil? Claro que no. Pero me conozco, y los retos me emocionan. Me he dado hasta febrero 28 pata deshacerme de todas las cosas que tengo en mi oficina de casa. Así que sígueme en esta aventura/reto para ver que pasa. #carlosmanueldicelaverdad

A couple of months ago or os I was a Netflix documentary titled "My Octopus Teacher." It has to do with the relationship between a Amanda and an octopus he befriended while snorkeling. It is a very good documentary; you should check it out.

I was very touched by the content of the film and the questions it raised regarding life, the meaning of life, and the purpose of life. At least that is how it spoke to me. I was incredibly shaken by such themes that it took me about three days to gain control of my feelings once again. In part, it has to do with my SAD status (you can read about it in my entry titled Winter Blues) and also because the last four months, due to the pandemic, I have been dealing with the passing of family members, friends, and acquaintances. I am not the only one dealing with the consequences of COVID-19 so I’m not going to dwell on that. I simply want to mention it because almost everything triggers my emotions nowadays. In short, I am emotionally imbalanced. 

Since the day I watched “My Octopus Teacher,” the Netflix algorithm has been recommending documentaries. And I have watched a few but nothing to write about…. Until I saw a documentary titled, “The Minimalists: Less is Now.” 

Because the documentary is only 53 minutes long and because I have heard of the minimalists, I decided to watch it. And boy, oh boy! The whole documentary is about the “stuff” we have and about asking ourselves questions such us, “Does this item adds value to my life? Does this item bring me joy/happiness?” “When was the last time I physically grab this particular item because I needed it?” “How long has this item been with me yet I had not use it nor pay attention to it?” 

By the end of the documentary, I was shaken once again. But in a good way, because the feelings I was experiencing at that moment were the illuminating answers to the many questions and uncertainties that I felt when watching “My Octopus Teacher.” 

I realized then that my life is full of stuff, most of it just taking physical space and gathering dust and that in order to enjoy a better, peaceful, fulfilled, tranquil, and exciting life, I need to get rid of a lot of the crap I have accumulated over the years. 

In order to do that, I must learn how to let go, emotionally and physically of the stuff I have. I also must learn to appreciate the memories and experiences I have lived and live by cherish them within me, not with stuff. 

Not an easy process but one I have decided to embark on. Will it be easy? Of course not, but I know myself, and challenges motivate me. And so, I have given myself until February 28 to get rid off of all the stuff in my home office. So follow me in this journey and let’s see what happens. 

#carlosmanuelspeaksthetruth 

MELANCOLIA/WINTER BLUES

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El invierno me saca la melancolía. Creo que el término médico es “trastorno afectivo estacional” (TAE), que es un estado de episodios depresivos y ansiedad leve. Mi estado TAE no es severo pero es notable, por lo menos a mi. 

 

Me encuentro menos entusiasmado hacia las cosas, me vuelvo menos productivo, y no me interesa salir de la casa, (esto es algo bueno durante la pandemia). La verdad no tengo energía para hacer cosas, excepto dormir, mirar televisión, y comer (una combinación peligrosa si quiero mantenerme saludable).

 

Se de amigos que compran lámparas especiales para combatir el TAE. Yo no he hecho eso ya que cuando me encuentro en este estado, escribo. Escribo sin parar. Nada especial, solo mis pensamientos, sentimientos, y filosofías que nunca llegan a salir al público.

 

Hace unos días estaba revisando los archivos en mi computadora. Tengo casi 150 carpetas con documentos escritos. Y esas carpetas contienen entre cinco y cien cosas que he escrito que la verdad valen o no la pena. 

 

Tengo carpetas con “las cosas que importan.” Existe, por ejemplo, una carpeta titulada “Plays” (Obras). Esta carpeta contiene otras carpetas clasificadas en diferentes categorías como, “Obras terminadas,” “En progresso,” “En español,” “Bilingües,” “Ideas para obras,” “Resúmenes,” “Sin título,” “Obras cortas, “Obras basadas en casos reales,” y mucho más. Y esta carpeta llamada “Plays” es la ordenada.

 

Tengo una carpeta titulada “Libros,” y otra titulada “Historias,” y una tercera titulada “Cuentos.” La carpeta titulada libros tiene otras carpetas con títulos e ideas para libros que he comenzado pero nunca terminado. Es mas, existen seis diferentes proyectos de libros que están “en camino.” Existe uno, sin embargo, que me orgullece decir continua vivo pues le sigo añadiendo poco a poco.

 

La carpeta titulada “Historias tiene, como ya se imagina, historias cortas. Algunas están terminadas, otras son solo un párrafo, mientras que otras están a la mitad. Algunas historias son cortas, cinco páginas y otras son 20 páginas de largas. Y estas historias están dentro de otras carpetas que han sido clasificadas por género: misterio, ciencia ficción, comedia, drama, etcétera. Lo mismo se puede decir de la carpeta titulada, “cuentos.” La única diferencia es que están escritos en inglés.

 

La carpeta que es el “billete ganador,” se titula “Cosas de Escritura.” Esta carpeta contiene nada más que todo tipo de pensamiento personal que he escrito a través de los años. El contenido es muy revelador de mi estado emocional, intelectual, y personal. La mayoría de lo escrito son cosas muy personales y han sido escritas durante mi periodo de melancolía. Esto significa que esta carpeta es peligrosa pues revela lo mas intimo de mi. 

 

El Trastorno Afectivo Estacional es algo que solo pasa durante los meses de invierno, y porque durante algunos años viví en un lugar donde no salía el sol desde octubre a febrero, hay mucho escrito en esta carpeta. Y porque TAE es provocado por días sin sol, esta es una de las razones por las cuales no viajo mucho a lugares que son muy “invernales” o muy “depresivos.” Y si voy a esos lugares, me vuelvo muy introvertido y callado (quizá una bendiciones para las personas a mi alrededor).

 

El punto principal no es estatus de TAE sino el hecho de que yo lidio  con mi melancolía por medio de la escritura. Y escribo mucho, aunque nadie llegue a leer las ciento de páginas que he escrito. #carlosmanueldicelaverdad.

WINTER BLUES

Wintertime brings out “the blues” in me. I think the medical term is “seasonal affective disorder (SAD),” which is the result of feeling sad and the feeling of having no energy. Those who work in the medical field call people with this disorder, SAD Sufferers. 

My SAD condition isn’t severe, but it is noticeable, to me at least. I become less productive. I become less enthusiastic about things. I become uninterested in anything outside the house, (which right now it is a good thing due to the pandemic). I have no energy to do anything except sleep, watch TV, and eat (a dangerous combination when it comes to staying healthy). 

I know of friends who buy special lighting to fight their SAD state. I have not done that, mainly because when I am in a state of SAD, I write. I write non-stop. Nothing special, just thoughts, feelings, philosophical stuff that never sees the time of day. 

Just a few days ago I was going through my computer files. I have close to 150 different folders with “writing stuff” in them. And those folders contain between five and 100 different items of “written stuff” that may or may not mean something. 

I also have folders with “the stuff that matter.” There is, for example, a folder titled, “OBRAS” (Plays). These folder contains many other folders classified in different categories such as, “Finished Plays,” “In Progress,” “En Español,” “Bilingual,” “Play Ideas,” “Summaries,” “Untiled Plays,” “Short Plays,” “Based-on Plays,” and so much more. And this folder called “Obras” is the “organized” folder. 

I also have a folder titled “BOOKS,” another titled “STORIES,” and a third one titled “CUENTOS.” The “books folder” contains many other folders within it with titles of book ideas I have started but never continued nor finished. There are in fact, six different title books, projects that are “in medias res.” There is one project though, that I’m proud to say, continues to stay alive for I add to the story little by little. 

The “stories folder” contains, you guessed it, short stories. Some are completely finished, others are just a paragraph long while others are half-way done. Some short stories are very short, five-pages long, and others are up to 20 pages long. And the stories are inside other folders that have been classified by genre: mystery, sci-fy, comedy, drama, etc… The same can be said for the folder titled, “cuentos.” The only difference: the writing is in Spanish. 

The folder that is the “golden ticket” is titled “Writing Stuff.” This folder contains nothing but random thoughts I have written over the years. Those writings are very revealing of my state of mind, my emotional state, and the person that I am. Most of the written content is about my inner thoughts, and are mostly written during my “winter blues” periods. This means that this folder is the most dangerous. It truly reveals my inner most self. 

The Sad Effective Disorder is something that happens during the winter months, and because for a few years I lived in a place where the sun will be covered by gray skies from October to February, there is in fact, a lot of inner most self writing in the “writing stuff” folder. And because SAD is trigger by gloomy days, this is one of the main reason I avoid traveling to places that are too “winter-like” or “gloomy.” If I go to this places, I become a very quiet individual (perhaps a blessing to the people around me).

The point here is not my SAD status but the fact I deal with my SAD, by writing. And I write a lot, even if no one ever gets to see the hundreds of pages I have written. #carlosmanuelspeaksthetruth

EN EL PRINCIPIO

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Estamos en el año 2021 y me he pasado todo mi tiempo en casa debido a la pandemia. Y como también es el invierno me la paso mucho tiempo reflexionando acerca de mi vida, de lo que hecho, de que hubiera hecho , y de lo que deseo hacer. 

 

Soy un artista, un teatrero, un dramaturgo para ser mas exactos. También he actuado en muchas obras de teatro y musicales, y también he dirigido muchas obras y musicales. Aun así, el escribir es mi pasión. 

 

Como artista y como individuo he cometido muchos errores, y he quemado muchos puentes. He sido una persona inmadura y alguien que no tenía (o tiene) la habilidad para ver “the whole picture” (todo desde lejos.)

 

Se que hay mucha gente a la que le caigo bien. También se que hay mucha gente a la que no le caigo bien. Tengo una de esa personalidades done caigo bien porque soy chistoso y caigo mal porque soy malo. Me han dicho que soy orgulloso y al mismo tiempo que soy muy amable. Se de gente que les ha dicho a otros que me mantengan a la distancia. 

 

Un ejemplo que puedo dar acerca de esta dualidad tiene que ver con algo que pasó varios años atrás. Un colega y amigo teatrero y yo aplicamos para una beca colaborativa. Y durante el proceso de escoger a los ganadores mi colega recibió una llamada donde le preguntaron el porqué quería trabajar con alguien “tan difícil como yo.” Mi colega les dijo que se sentía a gusto trabajando con migo, que no tenía dificultad hacerlo y que le gustaría la oportunidad. Recibimos la mitad de la beca y estoy seguro que solo por él y no por mi.

 

Nuestra colaboración duró dos años y durante ese tiempo hablamos de la percepción que muchos tienen de mí. Tratamos de entender como, quien le haya llamado, llegó a esa conclusión. Decidimos que es mi personalidad tan directa, que, como he dicho anteriormente puede verse como muy chistosa o muy pesada.

 

Se que soy una persona chistosa y se que soy una persona pesada. No lo dudo. Mi personalidad es chistosa, amigable, y también muy directa. No ando con rodeaos. Digo las cosas como las veo y como son. No le pongo “azúcar” a nada. No tengo un filtro. Perdón, si lo tengo pero no lo uso. No le tengo paciencia a la gente que se queja de todo sin razón, y definitivamente no me gusta lidiar con personas que se hacen pasar como la víctima todo el tiempo.

 

Si, soy directo con mis palabra y entiendo que para muchas personas, esta honestidad se siente como si los atacara. No lo estoy haciendo, solo digo las cosas como son. No tengo pelos en la boca.

 

Este “blog,” mi blog es acerca de eso. Acerca de lo que pienso y siento. A al mejor estás de acuerdo con lo que digo o no. Me da igual. Habrá momentos en que escriba totalmente en español y otras veces donde escribiré algo en inglés, y no lo voy a traducir.

Si lees este blog, deja tus comentarios, tus preguntas, tus quejas. Me encargo de responder a ellas. Y si te gusta mi blog, compártelo con el mundo. Nos vemos pronto ya que espero que regreses. #carlosmanueldicelaverdad.

ENGLISH 

It’s now the year 2021 and I’ve been spending more time at home due to the pandemic. And since it is also winter time I tend to spend more time reflecting on my life, what I’ve done, what I wish I had done, and what I wish to do in the future. 

I am an artist, a theatre artist, a playwright to be exact. I have also acted in many different plays and musicals, as well as directed many plays and musicals. Yet, writing is my passion. 

As an artist and as individual, I have made many mistakes and I have burned a few bridges. I have been an immature individual, and someone who was (is) not able to see “the whole picture.” 

I know there are many people who like me. I also know there are many people don’t like me. I have one of those personalities that you either like because “he’s funny” or you dislike because “he’s mean.” I’ve been told that I am a “stuck up” person while also been told I’m “very approachable.” I know people have advised other people to “stay away from me.” 

One example I can give about this dichotomy is about something that happened a few years back. A theatre artist colleague and friend and I applied for a “collaborative award.” And as the process to pick the awardees started, my colleague received a call from someone. They were asking my colleague why would he want to collaborate with me when I am “a very difficulty person to work with.” My colleague told them he was very happy to have the opportunity to work with me. He didn’t find me difficult and he really wanted the opportunity to work with me. We received 1/2 of the award and I am sure we got that part of the award because of my colleague, not because of me.

Our collaboration lasted two years and during this time we discussed the perception about me being a “very difficult person to work with.” We were trying to figure out how, whoever came out with that conclusion, why they have come out to such conclusion. We decided that it was my direct personality, which, I said before it came come across as “very funny” or “very off-putting.” 

I know I am a very funny guy and I also know I am a very off-putting guy. There is no doubt in mind about that. And why do I know that? Because my personality is funny, and it is also very direct. I don’t go “around the bush.” I say things as I see them. I don’t sugar coat my words. I don’t have a filter when I speak. Correction. I have a filter, I simply chose to ignore it. I have no patience for people who just like to complain without purpose, and I definitely don’t have time to deal with people who try to play the victim for everything. 

Yes, I am very direct with my words and I realized that for some people, such approach feels like I’m attacking them. I am not. I’m just telling it like it is. A fox is a fox. 

So this blog, my blog, is about that. About what I think and feel. You may agree with it or you may disagree with it. It is the same to me. There will be times when I will write only in English and others where I will through algo de español as I write. And for the most part I won’t translate it. 

If you read my blog, leave a comment, a question, a complain. I’ll deal with it. And if you like my blog and like to share it with the world. Do so. My blog is also found on my personal page: Carlos Manuel Inner Chisme. #carlosmanuelspeaksthetruth.